today, and many days when things are hard, what pulls me out is so simple. i know about being grateful, but sometimes i can't find it. i mean, i can, sort of, but it doesn't always help to try and think of all the things i am grateful for - it can be tedious and exhausting.

so i call it a day and stop trying. i go to bed. and in the morning, when the thoughts pile on and remind me of all the worrisome things, i whisper thank you instead, and hang on to that whisper like a life raft. nothing specific, i just keep saying it, like a mantra. more complicated mantras get lost in my thoughts, and i can't find them when i need them. but i can always find thank you. it's right there. it's quiet and soft and true.

if you want to try it, i recommend the early morning, because late in the day everything annoys you when you’re grumpy. but early morning brings a softness, and if you can remember to slip in thank you before the worries, maybe you can stretch the quiet longer. maybe you can find it all day, until you go to bed. maybe not. but, if you're lucky, at least you'll get another morning to try again.