learning to listen more than to represent is the new part. i was always listening, i guess. something was telling me what color to put where, but this is different. it's like starting over: humbling and difficult and satisfying.

it’s a delicate thing, listening. it’s too easy to plow through [everything] … it takes a lot more to stop and be quiet instead.

i guess what I’m saying, over and over, is that that’s the hard part. if i can get there and stay there, in the listening place, and trust what comes up, then painting (and everything) is a piece of cake. or, if not cake, at least more ease. and with that ease has come a flow, and a playfulness, and excitement. and i don’t get that knot in my belly so much anymore.