recently i was daydreaming about a little house by the sea that i have dreamed of before. it has a garden, and a record player, and a rowboat, but it has no internet or cell service. maybe i will actually live there someday but in the meantime, i know when i start dreaming of this house that it is time for some changes. 

so i banned myself from the internet (mostly). 

it wasn’t that bad before: youtube talks, instagram here and there, internet research in little bits all day long, email, blah blah blah.  i was not on it that much compared to many, but it was too much for me. i was having trouble creating, and being quiet, and sticking with anything, and i was returning library books unopened - it was not good. and i had work to do. 

so i made new rules: no willy-nilly internet browsing - i now keep a notebook near me and anything i want to do or research i put on the list, and then, an hour before i pick up una from camp, i get on there and do everything i need to do, and that’s it. i can stream music, but i did google ‘ipods’ on my recent internet foray, and i love the idea of having one of those instead of streaming. remember when we used to buy albums? i want to do that again.

and - guess what? - it’s working. i’ve had a great week in the studio, and i am reading library books! instead of scrolling around on a break, i just sit in the sun for a few minutes. paintings are coming, things are flowing, i am excited about all sorts of things. i can feel myself in a deeper, more connected place and the best part is that it happened right away - i didn’t need a week of no internet to feel more calm and peaceful, i felt it immediately - the very first day i instated all these new rules. it’s a good reminder. so if you, too, dream of a retreat, or a wilderness trip, or a secluded island house, well, go do it if you can! but if you can’t, for whatever reason, maybe just make some new rules and stick to them and commit to a chunk of time where you, too, put the internet away in whatever way you are able, and see how different you feel. i know lots of people are doing this and i’m here to join in the chorus of voices saying: it works. and it’s really, really worth it. 

For the listener, who listens in the snow
and, though nothing himself, beholds
the nothing that is not there and the nothing that is.

Wallace Stevens